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Beltane has come and gone. I was lucky enough to spend it with my parents who are both in their 70s with all the health complications that come with it. They had no idea that I was celebrating - to them it must have looked a lot like me being happy to spend time with them (which I was of course), but I was also noticing the trees and the new blooms and the birds so busy with their chicks and eggs and nests. It's been so cold this year that everything has been a little delayed but even though we could not notice the changes in the light and the temperature, nature knows and responds accordingly.

I have been having a bad day today. Slept poorly. Woke to threatening emails from hackers. I have been loosing weight with Noom and I read my lessons each morning before I start work for the day. Some days the jargon is so dense that I can't get what they are talking about - it's written by Americans for American and being a Brit I just don't 'get' it sometimes and not understanding the questions makes it hard to write insightful reponses...

Anyway. Bad day.

I was rushing to get to my desk to work, tidying up quickly, putting on a load of washing and getting myself a coffee when I went to put out the laundry on the line... and I paused... and I breathed... and I found a moment to be grateful. It is too easy to fall into the busy trap - too busy with being busy! I hung up our clean damp washing with the wind tugging it on the line and the sun already warm on my back and on the fabric and I just did that. No to do list, no what next, no I wonder - I pegged clean clothes to dry in the sun and that was all I did other than be grateful to the sun and the earth and the wind for helping me in this tiny way.

It didn't turn my day around - it was still full and I was still clumsy and stressed but it did give me a spoonful of perspective, a quiet moment with myself for gratitude and being open to the experiences of my day.

I will continue to watch for these moments and treasure them when they come. I enjoy mindfulness but a moment that you have curated yourself and discovered among the mundane things is equally if not more rewarding.
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 As I said before, two weeks of celebration seems excessive and my bathroom scales will agree with you, but here we are, still celebrating spring. 

It's here in earnest now, birds nesting, hares hopping, leaves bursting out more each day. We have our painted eggs on a willow branch this year with its fluffy catkins all puffing up and blooming overnight. We had son one and his girlfriend here yesterday to share a meal and some conversations -very lovely to see them. We ate hot cross buns and daughter in law to be showed us a game they play in Lithuania with their coloured boiled eggs which I think I have seen one of my sister-in-laws play too where you challenge your neighbour and rap the top of your eggs together - the one one that survives unscathed goes on to play the next tablemate. It was very sweet and I won!

We have been out a few times this weekend and it feels like the world really is waking up this Ostara after a year of lockdown. People are smiling, working in their gardens or on their properties, running and cycling. It's waking from a bad dream or it's coming out of hibernation. Either way it is a chance to think how you will continue now you have experienced what our carelessness and thoughtlessness can cause. Our greed and our lack of foresight caused Covid to be the terrible affliction that it was - and in some ways our actions caused it. Do we thank our lucky stars we survived and carry on as before or do we use the fear and loss, and the time we spent waiting to decide to do this better now. I hope we can agree that the price we paid was a high one and it could have been made less had we not abused our 'top ape' status.

Tomorrow is the last day of the Easter holiday and we will be going to Sussex to see our parents. It has been such a long time and I'm excited and concerned to see how they have fared. We will be planning to Beltane (although they don't know it) and for a trip to Pashley Manor to see the tulip festival I hope. 

Bright Blessings.

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